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The Mind Games Of A Spouse

July 12. A true test. DH (Darling Husband) asked if I wanted to exercise with him in the am. If you don’t know our story you can read about it in my memoir, Recovering In Recovery.  He is also a runner and although not in marathon shape at the moment certainly a lot closer than me.

 

Last night, I said I could jog for 30 minutes but reminded him I am super slow and can barely make it to that time.  He agreed. But in my head I was already doubting the commitment to go with him. Traditionally we would do a lot of talking about issues etc. and the last two times I jogged I was listening to headphones and just trying to breathe. So the idea of talking or even not talking but being stuck with silence was nerve wracking for me.

 

Plus, I know that he has been running a lot and might not be thrilled with my snails pace or short time frame despite his agreement.  But I can do anything or 30 minutes right. I got up, had my coffee and quiet time and off we went. The air was thick this morning and it was dark. He equipped me with a safety vest and was wearing a head lamp. Been a long time since I have needed those tools.

 

Jogging along went well. Taking my time to ensure I would be able to complete the entire experience DH says “So we are doing 40 minutes”. I said “No 30”. He said “We said last night we would do 35”. Insert eye roll. 

 

The resistance was there plus I didn’t have a time keeper so I was completely at his mercy for telling me the truth about how much time had elapsed. I asked at one point and his response was “don’t worry about it”. Oh no sir, we aren’t playing that game, you aren’t going to trick me into going further than I wanted to.

 

It ended up being 37 minutes and pretty good. No stopping and we chatted a little. I am sure the pace was well off any normal running mark, but I didn’t even ask. I was happy that I made it.

 

Today, is the start of a new week and its time to get more aggressive about the food. We got back from vacation last Tuesday and since then I haven’t had any sugar so that is good. I did succumb to some other processed foods and refined carbs which needs to stop but one thing at a time.

 

So I made a power packed whole food, vegan shake for breakfast. Yum. The #75HardChallenge is on my mind but the resistance about making a commitment like that is strong. It isn’t ruled out on the eventually list.

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