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Building Emotional Sobriety One Blog Post At A Time

The Realities Of Personal Responsibility Stink

August 13. Have you ever been so struck by something that you realize you are the fool? You are the one that has been accepting things in your life over and over and over again expecting different results.

That insidious nature of insanity that seeps into all the cracks in the most vulnerable moments of life. Infiltrating all the parts, leaving damage that often isn’t seen for many moons to come, sometimes never.

As a huge believer in the truth that we get what we allow, this is a hard pill to swallow when it comes up in my life. Its like being punched in the gut even after putting on all your protective gear.

Doubled over retching on the ground with the knowledge that this is ultimately my fault. #dramaticmuch

This is one of the reasons why relationships with other humans are probably the hardest things we will ever do in this life. They require more effort, more care, more tenderness and compassion than anything else we will engage in during our years on earth. 


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Forget The Feelings And Just Do It

Uncategorized Sep 03, 2021

August 11th. This week will prove to be another big challenge for maintaining the 75 Hard Challenge. Because we are on vacation. Well if traveling with six teenagers equals vacation that is.

So far so good but yesterday we went white water rafting and will be gone for several hours. Turns out that was a really intense workout for much longer than 45 minutes. It counts!

One great thing about this challenge for me is the reminder of resilience. There is so much we CAN do as human beings and so often we get side tracked because of our feelings. We allow the feeling of exhaustion, frustration, anger or sadness to take over and prevent us from doing certain things.

The key is, forget the feelings and just do it. When you wake up and your mind says hit the snooze button, don’t waste a seconds time, turn that alarm off and get up. When you are exhausted after work but you said you were going to the gym, don’t think about it just drive your car there.

Because in the words of Mel...

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Life Is Like A Funny Joke

August 4. Life is a funny thing right. This space between birth and death, between heaven and earth. The dash between the date on the tombstone.

This is life. It’s huge and also small.

It’s wide and expansive reaching to the ends of the earth and beyond, and also narrow, limited and restricted.

How can something be all of those things. The joy we experience with the beauty all around us, when we breathe fresh air, feel warm sun on our skin, look our babies in their eyes, snuggle with your puppy, enjoy hot sex in a mutually loving relationship, devour a gorgeous and healthy salad filled with nutrition from the earth. You get the idea.

And the pain that comes from living. The physical pain we endure from playing sports, getting in accidents, growing older. And the emotional pain.

The searing overwhelm that comes from being in relationship with others, from losing people we love, from the disappointments that will come for all of us, from the diagnosis. Its like the sting,...

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When You Feel Yourself Coming Back

August 3rd. You will never believe this! Last night I went for a jog and I lasted the entire forty five minutes. It is still very slow but I jogged for forty five minutes!  I even shocked myself. I am starting to come back.

Today I reminded myself never to ever let myself go that far down again because it takes way to much effort and energy to come back.  If you just maintain relative fitness and health you don’t have to make these dramatic changes.

Have you ever seen someone have a lightbulb moment? Maybe a friend or someone you were working with. You are talking to them and you can just tell from their eyes, they are getting it.

There is a glimmer of hope, a change.

As a therapist I have the pleasure of experiencing it a lot actually, just nature of the job. And today was one of those days. I was working with a client and I could just tell the confidence was growing right before my eyes throughout the session.

We were building on something we discussed last week...

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The Sun Always Rises

August 2. One of the best things about life is that the sun sets each day and then rises again in the morning. It rises with the promise of a new day, a fresh start, the life force energy that it provides and warmth.

No matter what is going on in life you can count on that. You know it will happen and the opportunity is there to be different, renewed.

It’s not magic. The sun of tomorrow doesn’t take away our problems.

Of course not but it provides hope. It reminds us of the passing of time, that this too shall pass.  That transitions will come whether we like them or not, seasons change, relationships end, people get sober, some don’t. We can’t stop it no matter what we do.

Sometimes I imagine I am a dam holding back the entire force of nature that is the water behind me, the change that is coming. In my mind it works.

I can see this huge barrier and me standing there up against it, with the confidence of a super hero. Holding strong, pushing back...

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It Isn't A Straight Line From A to B

August 1. Our journey through change is ever winding. And the emotional ups and downs I experience throughout that are sometimes so overwhelming the only thing I can think to do is take a nap.

The flood of cortisol that comes from a marital issue, or the needs of a teenager or job stress make me feel like I am drowning.

I am coming to believe this never ends. Although my parents might say differently as they are living their best life in retirement. But even they have challenges that create a similar cycle, I don’t think it is as extreme.

Managing those emotions takes a great deal of intention.

I am thankful today I can break the downward spiral by using tools like breath work, essential oils, exercise, tapping, etc. whenever those feelings start to bubble up.

Of course, the sooner we insert them the better and that’s what I did a lot of this week. Also reminding myself I can’t control anyone else or change them, only myself, (breathe, butterfly hug, oil up,...

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When You Don't Feel Like Making Lemomade

July 30. Sometimes when life sends you lemons you just don’t want to make lemonade. You know what I mean.

I’m the queen of personal development. I love podcasts, inspirational messages, business strategy books, complementary medicines but I have to say I am #tired.

I know these are just feelings and feelings aren't facts that is for sure. But dang its not only exhausting it downright annoying. And then sprinkle on a little hormones and boom, you a decadent recipe for internal destruction.

I am being a little dramatic I know but honestly, sometimes it really feels like this. The pressure of the world or your spouse or the kids or your job isn’t the comfort we hear about from the weighted blankets.

Exactly the opposite in fact. I feel like I am spinning. And at the same time trying to grab ahold of the things that need to get done, the people I want to connect with, the work I have to complete.

One thing I know for sure, I am responsible for putting the spoke in that...

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Speedbumps in life are annoying

Uncategorized Aug 20, 2021

July 29. Have you ever been doing something and then boom you hit a speedbump, a snag, a hiccup. Probably more than once right. That’s what happened this week for me.

Things with #75HardChallenge have been going pretty well. It is mostly challenging getting the second workout in but I have managed and I am feeling a ton better. My mental clarity is coming back, I feel more emotionally balanced and my insides feel clean and well oiled!

Tuesday morning I woke up and immediately knew something was off.

You know what I mean right, like this nagging feeling that something was about to go wrong or you forgot something.  Within minutes I realized I forgot to take my progress picture (one of the 6 things required each day) the day before.

Literally the easiest of all the tasks and I just plain forgot. And I was about to start day 14.

Ok its no biggie right so you have to start over, no real harm in it and tons of people restart even multiple times and its not like after 75 days I...

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The humility of sports

Uncategorized Aug 18, 2021

July 26. It’s Olympics time! Nothing is more inspiring to me than watching amazing athletes perform on their highest stage. It is remarkable.

Sports analogies are always my favorite because most of us, I you have ever played a sport, trained for something or committed to something really challenging you can relate to the absolute perseverance and sacrifice it takes to get there. We get to see the beauty of their thing. The magnificent outcome of YEARS of blood sweat and tears.

And they make it look effortless.

Last night we stayed up later than we should have to wait for Katie Ledecky to swim against Ariarne Titmus in the 400M Freestyle. Katie has won five Olympic gold medals and 15 world championship gold medals, the most in history for a female swimmer. 

She is so fast she has to train with men just to get the kind of workouts she needs. #SheIsASuperHero

But there’s a new girl in town. There always is right. No matter what you do or who you are, the next...

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How I Look After Hot Yoga

Uncategorized Aug 16, 2021

July 22. This morning I had the wonderful opportunity to go to hot yoga. I love it there so much. And it always gives me a big chuckle how funny I look when am done!

Hot yoga has been in my life for several years now but the beginning of my yoga experience was tough. I struggled with sitting still. I am a naturally high strung person and have always enjoyed energetic, high impact and even contact kinds of workouts.

So sitting in a room being still and then guided in such a lovely way was hard. Thankfully after many attempts I started to settle in and fall in love with this practice.

Today, yoga is more about my mental health than anything physical, although I know there are many physical benefits as well. I use it as a spiritual tool for balancing out my mind and body while also getting that restorative stretch.

There is also a challenge component involved because I am not naturally flexible nor do I engage in some of the super yogi difficult poses. I’m likely never going to...

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