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RECOVERING IN RECOVERY

Building Emotional Sobriety One Blog Post At A Time

We All Have Choices

July 17. I have been focused and meditating on the concept of being my own coach. In fact, that’s what we are in our lives right? We are in the driver’s seat. Making the decision to do or not do.

But at least for me, for way to many years of my adulthood I have resisted this truth. Seems weird right. Resisting being in charge of my own life. Because it is.

As children growing up, so much of our lives are not in our control. We are born to parents in a country, and situation that we didn’t choose. Then we are bought random clothes to wear, put in a school, made to eat certain foods, hanging around certain selected people.

With age we start to have more choices but even still living in the protection of your family provides some sense of being controlled. We aren’t completely independent.

I launched from the adults who raised me and began to form my own life. Make my own decisions and earn money. I had to start parenting myself.

But addiction stunted my growth....

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No Cake And Ice Cream For Me

July 16. Today is my birthday. Yup 46 years have past. And for the past 19 of them I have been sober. I shared a post on my Facebook page this am about this day almost two decades ago. I will paste it below in case you didn’t see it.

This is the beginning of day 4 of the #75HardChallenge and I am pretty fatigued. The soreness has set in which is of course normal I am asking my body to do a lot and I am also still detoxing from all the abuse I have done to my systems for the last couple of years. I can feel my gut healing though as I nourish it with live whole foods, tons of water and rest when I can.

I can feel God opening my eyes a little to some new things. I think it must be those barriers breaking down. I have had more than one coach, counselor, guru, marketing expert etc tell me that I am the problem. My limiting beliefs have created walls and once they are kicked down I will be catapulted into the 4th dimension. I deny it publicly but my heart knows the truth. There are...

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Making a decision doesn't make it less hard...it makes it happen

July 15. Up before my alarm so I enjoyed those few minutes as my snooze button and started my morning routine. Those minutes to me are the bonuses of life. If you haven’t heard my rants about the perils of the snooze button and the actual brain research to support it, check out the Confident Sober Women Facebook Group or podcast by the same name. It’s a real thing.

I planned my first workout to be outdoors to avoid to much of the heat and set out with Winnie, my six year old German Shorthaired Pointer.  If you don’t know her she is the best dog that ever lived and has kept us on our toes in more ways than one for all 6 years.

I have lost 4 pounds. And I can feel the change happening that I mentioned yesterday. Food makes such a big difference and my goal in life is to continue to shout that from as many rooftops as I can to help others understand. The inflammation is melting away. The pain is subsiding and being replaced with soreness from the workouts.

Winnie...

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It's up to you

Uncategorized Jul 30, 2021

July 14. Last night I went out for a jog/walk with DH at 6:30pm, it was 88 degrees. Evening workouts have always been challenging for me, it’s a long day. But through all the sweat we got it done.

I so enjoyed my time reading Go Giver by Bob Burg, last night it is truly an excellent and inspiring book. Day 1 of the #75HardChallenge. What have gotten myself into.

Today up at 4:15 to meet a friend for a 45 walk/jog. I much prefer using this time to also socialize but sadly most people in my life won’t entertain a 5am meeting.  I can’t understand why? I was tired and sluggish but it was also really humid.

I am starting to feel a lot better though during the day. I know that’s the food. I have been down this road before. It doesn’t take long of eating a super clean diet with no sugar, white flour or dairy to feel much better. The tendonitis in my elbow and shoulder are still there of course but feeling a little better, I can tell my energy is improving...

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Think Less Do More

Uncategorized Jul 28, 2021

July 13.  Something that truly annoys me (I want to say hate but also trying not to bring negative language into this space) is when I don’t want to do something and I can tell you all the reasons (aka excuses) that I can’t do it but the nudge/calling/voice from God whatever you want to call it keeps coming. 

 

Anyone else feel this. I mean for real, I don’t want to do the 75 Hard Challenge (if you don’t know what this is click the link it, it truly is an incredible movement).

 

What the actual. And its not really even because I don’t think I can do it, heck I already have two of the things down. I already drink a gallon of water ever day and I already don’t drink alcohol.  So….I’m on the road. 

 

But seriously, the rest feels like a commitment I just don’t want to make. Because it really isn’t something that you can do silently. This is my natural way, in case you were wondering....

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The Mind Games Of A Spouse

July 12. A true test. DH (Darling Husband) asked if I wanted to exercise with him in the am. If you don’t know our story you can read about it in my memoir, Recovering In Recovery.  He is also a runner and although not in marathon shape at the moment certainly a lot closer than me.

 

Last night, I said I could jog for 30 minutes but reminded him I am super slow and can barely make it to that time.  He agreed. But in my head I was already doubting the commitment to go with him. Traditionally we would do a lot of talking about issues etc. and the last two times I jogged I was listening to headphones and just trying to breathe. So the idea of talking or even not talking but being stuck with silence was nerve wracking for me.

 

Plus, I know that he has been running a lot and might not be thrilled with my snails pace or short time frame despite his agreement.  But I can do anything or 30 minutes right. I got up, had my coffee and quiet time and...

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When The Waking Up Isn't Easy

July 11.  It’s Sunday and the waking up wasn’t easy.   My body has been sore and exhausted. More validation of how out of shape I am and how much I have let myself go. I spent some time meditating about all the people in the world that wake up feeling that way all the time. How challenging it must be to not feel good all the time but what’s worse is not really knowing you don’t feel good.

I was planning to go to the gym today since I didn’t workout yesterday and I was ready for some resistance training. For some reason (maybe a God wink here), I left that house way to early as the gym doesn’t open until 8am.


On the way there I had the thought of doing another 30 minutes. I figured I could go for a run and then use the gym to stretch and do whatever feels right at that time.  Unexpected but I’ll go with it.

I set out with a podcast to keep me company along the way. It was The Armchair...

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One Foot, One Step, One Minute At A Time

July 9. Dropped the kids off at swim and drove to the park. I only had an hour so had been thinking on the way up I should just try to run 30 minutes. See how it feels. 30 minutes.

 

It wasn’t as hot and humid as it had been and very flat. I put my earphones in, found a podcast and started a slow jog. I resisted the usual thoughts of I can’t believe you are in this place. Why did you let yourself go so much? You have trained for 5 marathons. Ugh.

 

They weren’t strong today. I was grateful.

 

The first half was good I felt the power my breathing was normal I was enjoying the scenery. At 15 minutes I started breaking down (it still baffles me and breaks my heart a little to see that in writing) but I was determined.

 

There was a lot of sadness in my heart from the tragic murder of a young person in our community the day before. My girls loosely knew both of the kids involved and they were in shock. So very senseless and tragic.  About...

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From Chick Fil-A Milkshakes To Running Again...

If you have been following me for any length of time you know that I have been a lifetime lover of all things fitness, nutrition and wellness. I was raised as an athlete my whole life, found distance running in my 30’s and had a good ten year career. 

I have studied health and wellness as an extension of my clinical practice and coached many women on making major life changes to support their own physical health. I know a thing or two about how to properly nourish the human body and physically train yourself to do some really extreme things.

That’s why its so disappointing that over the last, three to four years I have been on a steady decline in all of these areas.  It had been gradual and mostly related to the stress of raising teenagers and maintaining a marriage and building a practice and starting a coaching business. Oh and raising teenagers.

Then Covid hit the world and that was the straw that broke the camels back so to say for me to just hit the ground...

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The Trip Of My Life, And You're Invited

I am about to embark on a journey. There will be many twists and likely some U-turns because I have been down this path before. I have fallen off the wagon a few times in the past and then regrouped. I have paid for others to help me. I have sacrificed time, sleep and social events because of the journey and I have also suffered from laziness.

I have no idea where it will take me. But I do know that it is time. It is time for me to COMMIT (that was my word after all) to myself.


And I because there's nothing like a good trip, an adventure or new thing, you might want to join me. If not that’s totally fine too but you are invited.
 

You are welcome to read all of the vulnerable shares I am about to offer. To hear how a seemingly pulled together girl who built a brand based on her own experience, believes in all of her teachings with her whole heart, and yet has fallen so far off the mountain for so long the bruises and broken bones have already started to heal.

I'm...

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